Lots of Monty Python wavs, some from the movies and others from the Flying Circus.
| 3cheeks | "And now for something completely different: a man with three buttocks." |
| 47people | "In this picture there are forty-seven people. None of them can be seen." |
| armoff | "Now stand aside, worthy adversary." " 'Tis but a scratch." "A scratch?! Your arm's off!" "No it isn't." "Well, what's that then?" "I've had worse." "You lie!" "Come on, you pansy!" |
| ballsfire | (bad Chinese accent) "Great balls of fire?" |
| blackknight | "I'll do you for that!" "You'll what?" "Come here!" "What are you going to do, bleed on me?" "I'm invincible!" "You're a loony." "The Black Knight always triumphs!" |
| blowwhistle | "No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle!" |
| bunny | "I warned you, but did you listen to me, oh no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?" |
| castleahh | "What does it say?" "It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathea: He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the castle of aaaahhhh...' " "What?" "The castle of aaaahhhhh..." "What is that?" "He must've died while carving it." "Oh, come on!" "Well that's what it says." "Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'ahhh', he'd just say it!" "Well that's what's carved in the rock. Perhaps he was dictating." "Oh shut up." |
| cheese | "I want to buy some cheese!" |
| coconuts | "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" |
| different | "And now for something completely different." |
| french | "I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king!" |
| garbage | "Yes, well, that's the sort of blinkered, Philistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage." |
| halibut | "You've got a pet halibut?" "Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat." "You must be a loony." "I am not a loony! Why should I be tied with the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet halibut?!" |
| hamster | "Your mother was a hamster, and your father stank of elderberries!" |
| handgrenade | "Saint Aquila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying 'Oh Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade, that with it Thou mayest blow Thy enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' " |
| heardthat | "I heard that, who said that?" |
| interrupt | "We interrupt this program to annoy you, and make things generally irritating." |
| Loretta | "I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me Loretta." |
| lumberjack | "I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspendies and a bra..." |
| message | (arrow sound) "Message for you, sir!" |
| mountain | "To me it's like a mountain, a vast bowl of pus!" |
| newt | "What makes you think she's a witch?" "Well, she turned me into a newt!" "A newt?" (pause) "I got better." |
| ni | "Ni!" |
| niagain | "We shall say 'ni' again to you if you do not appease us." |
| nose | "And I'd like to conclude by putting my finger up my nose." |
| nudge | "Is your wife a goer, eh? Know what I mean, know what I mean, nudge nudge, nudge nudge, know what I mean, say no more, know what I mean?" |
| parrotdrop | "Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot dropping." |
| pillock | "What is it now, you great pillock?" |
| ping | "Ah, I see you have a machine that goes 'ping'!" |
| pissoff | "Piss off!" |
| runny | "It's a bit runny, sir." |
| Spanish | (music) "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" |
| stopthat | "Stop that, it's silly." |
| taunt | "I fart in your general direction, you tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!" |
| twit | "Don't come here with that posh talk, you nasty stuck-up twit!" |
| witch | "We have found a witch, may we burn her?" |
| yourking | "I'm your king." "Well, I didn't vote for you." "You don't vote for kings." "Well, how'd you become king, then?" "The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I'm your king." "Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!" "Be quiet!" "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!" "Shut up!" "I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!" |
| yummy | "Yummy, yummy, yummy." |
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